» fresh starts: spring semester
  • fresh starts: spring semester

    Feb 10th • Posted in personal

    I might be getting ahead of myself when I say this but: damn, I feel really good about this semester.

    I’m thinking it’s partly because I’m aware that this will be my last semester in my post-bacc program, but also– I’m giving myself another year to reflect and think about what I really want. While I was grappling with the options, I have officially decided to take an additional year off to work, take MCAT classes and the additional classes that I did not take in my program, and just to relax. It feels nice to spend this last semester taking classes that I really enjoy (especially Immunology because it’s challenging, yet rewarding– and I have a huge professor crush on my professor. Seriously. I just want to sit and learn all the Immuno because of her) instead of feeling like dying or crying every single day, and not being able to do any of it because of the high-pressure, high-stress situation. It didn’t help that I didn’t feel supported by anyone or anything in the single class that I was in. Thankfully, I feel much better about this semester, and I’m hoping with this newfound energy and confidence I have– I’ll end my program on a very strong note.
    I don’t want to dwell on the pains of last semester. They’re well-documented on this blog– or you could just ask  me in person, that also works. In any case, I tried to practice a lot of self-love and self-care through the latter part of the semester and into the present, so I’m hoping it all works. I ended up tailoring my schedule to my strengths and interests, and I think that my spring schedule has been my favourite since landing in the Bay Area.

    I’m taking ImmunologyOrganic Chemistry 2, and Medical Sociology. While two of the three classes I’m taking aren’t required, I couldn’t pass up the opportunity to add a qualitative class that pads the hard sciences (and is something I’m very interested in, obviously,) while also adding a class that I’ve heard too many wonderful things about. So far, so good. I’m lucky enough that the school that I go to has a generous drop date (seriously, it’s like two months into the semester and you can drop a course without a ‘W’) so that if necessary, I could definitely drop Immunology (known to be one of the hardest upper level division Biology courses) if everything else ends up crumbling around me. With the help of my therapist, I was able to organise and strategically plan my classes accordingly. It feels good to have a healthy, solid support system and feel in touch with my classes, my mental health (ish) and to have support that I need.

    I’m not saying that the mental health thing is under control. To be fair, that will always be something I struggle with, and something I’m going to have to deal with on a daily basis. Some days are better than others, and some days are much worse (for instance: I’ve been sick for the majority of the weekend, and now it’s Wednesday– haven’t done much work, and now I feel like I’m going to fall behind.) I’m still going to therapy, I’m still on medication, and I’m still struggling to get out of bed in the mornings. But this semester feels good, or at the very least, better than last.