» All About the Body Talk.
  • All About the Body Talk.

    Jun 28th • Posted in fashion, food, personal, writing


    I wrote about the same topic about a year ago, and now I’m revisiting it in this post.

    It’s been a long time coming, and after that post a year ago, my awareness and self-love for my own body has only grown. Admittedly, I’ve never been one to try diets, the next biggest exercise craze, or any of that junk. In fact, I was probably doing the opposite and treating my body the wrong way. And I was attempting to lose weight for the wrong reasons. Weight is a sensitive subject for most, and for a lot of people– losing weight seems to be extrinsically motivated. There were always reasons for me to lose weight that weren’t about myself, but after learning about the body positive movement (otherwise known as the fat feminist movement,) I’ve finally found reasons to celebrate myself no matter what the size.

    As mentioned in my previous post, I have been struggling with my weight for years. Mostly with flak coming from my mother’s side (because I hardly see them,) but occasionally from my father’s side. My father’s side of the family is more lenient with the fat shaming due to the fact that they, themselves, are fat. I have accepted that these issues mainly stem from the culture. That doesn’t make it appropriate though. For those of you who weren’t already aware: it is possible to be healthy and overweight. In fact, weight can be distributed unevenly on different people. Someone can look chubby, but in fact– weigh the same amount as someone who looks leaner! I urge some of you who cannot grasp this concept to look at this website: My Body Gallery.

    I guess I’m writing this post because I’ve struggled with my weight over the past couple of years, and I’ve been more accepting of myself. I think it’s because my priority has been my health over my weight. I don’t know if I’ve ever really been obsessed with the way I look. I’ve never tried any crazy diets, never really exercised profusely or had an eating disorder. Have I thought about it? Certainly, but I couldn’t see myself doing any of those things to reach the “desired weight.” Weight loss is different from being fit and  healthy. I didn’t learn this until I started exercising regularly and changing my diet slightly. A couple years ago, I started exercising at least five times a week without changing much in my diet (other than really eating more balanced meals) and I slimmed down considerably… but I didn’t lose weight, which was weird. I was actually the same weight, but I felt much lighter, faster, fitter. I’ve actually stayed pretty much the same (give or take a couple pounds) the past couple of years, which is kind of nice. During this period of active exercise, I realised that weight loss wasn’t what I should be aiming for– I should, instead, aim to be fit. I could shed pounds of fat, but I was gaining pounds of muscle. I felt more fit, and that really was my goal.

    Ultimately, I fall “off the wagon” every now and then, but I don’t think my body size will fluctuate dramatically and I’m okay with that. I focus on making healthy choices (basically eating what I want in moderation– a girl needs her sweets every now and then,) and exercising! As long as I’m doing those things, I couldn’t care what my weight is or my body size. In fact, I never look at the scale. Weighing myself on a scale does more harm than good and it’s not the way I like to monitor my progress. I monitor my progress through physical endurance and the way my body feels after certain activities. The way I fit clothes and look in clothes is just how the  weight translates onto my body. It’s different for everyone. Not like I really care what you think though, as there are so many options for plus-size women nowadays. Confidence comes from yourself, and for me– it stems from my choices in fashion. Over the past year, I’ve learned to embrace different styles and body shapes. I am hoping that society eventually warps their perception of body size and accepts us ‘fatties’ for who we are. That being said, fuck your fashion rules. I look fantastic in a crop top AND a bikini, so I don’t really have time for people who criticise me for wearing either/or.

    I’m hoping that someday society gets rid of their preconceived notions and judgments and can stop being sizist against fat women. Until then, I want to keep educating those about fat positivity, body positivity and help people understand that they are beautiful at ANY size. I may not be completely comfortable with myself, but I’m comfortable at my size. When someone would make a comment about my weight a year ago, I would take the insult and just nod in order to save face. Now? I’m honest, headstrong and happy to prove them wrong. Oh, right– and I’m also still fat. And proud of it.

    • I’m fat since like forever, and I’ve been struggling with that issue ever since. I remember 2 years ago, I’d inflicted harm on myself over so much frustration that I couldn’t reach my dream body and stuff. Today, despite the struggle, I find myself happy and contented with my body, even though I tend to fail in those Physical Fitness bullshit exams in PE class.

      Someone said that if you’re fat, it doesn’t mean that you’re not healthy and fit. It’s not about what they see, it’s about what you feel about yourself. And forget about those numbers that dictate if you’re fat and whatnot, it’s only considered as the second priority in losing weight, what matters is what you feel about your body and how your clothes fit you. I also have the same situation, don’t worry. We’re in this together. ;)

      • Ironically, at my heaviest point– I’m actually the most fit I’ve ever been in my life. When I moved away from Chicago, I shaved off around 2 mins off my fastest mile time. PE exams are shite, and should instead, be measuring your heart rate during physical exercise.

        My main goal isn’t to lose weight, it’s to be fit. Mainly, I refuse to lose weight because I like to eat what I want to eat :) Diets are unhealthy and unrealistic to me. However, what works for people works for them! I choose to subscribe to the belief that as long as I’m healthy and fit, I’ll be fine. There’s no need to conform to societal pressures of a standard body type to do it :) Glad to see someone agrees with me, and I hope that you learn to accept your shape and love it!

    • ComaDiary

      I wish I had your body confidence! You go grrrrl, you look awesome!

      • Thanks! Body confidence is one of those things that really takes time to cultivate, and I know it can be especially hard with societal pressures– but it’s taken me a long time to get to this point! Thanks so much for your support!

    • Yay for self confidence and body acceptence! There should be more people who understand that all bodies are beautiful regardless of their size.
      P.S the forum is coming soon! :)

      • Yes :) Let me know when the forum goes up, and if you need any help running it. I remember when the MBs went rampant, and used to love using XMB as the forum software.

    • Holly Pryce

      I think it’s fantastic that you have confidence in the way you look. It doesn’t matter what size or shape people are. What matters is that they are healthy and happy. :)

      I hate the way society judges people based on weight. It’s ridiculous. I got bullied when I was at school because I was “too thin”. People said I didn’t eat and that I made myself sick, none of which was at all true.

      • It took me awhile to learn how to be OK in my own skin! And yeah, I’d agree with you, and I’m so sorry you had to go through with that. It’s difficult to joke about that stuff, as it’s a sensitive subject– though kids nowadays will try to pick on people for everything and anything. Societal pressures = insecurity :(

    • What a wonderful, affirming post!

      Do you know Sonya Renee’s ‘The Body is Not an Apology’? It’s body-love movement she’s been working on, but she also has this amazing poem called ‘The Body is Not an Apology’. Do look it up, if you don’t already know it. It is one of the things I go to when I have been a little hard on myself and on my body and am struggling with my own sense of affirmation.

      My relationship with my body fluctuates and shifts and at some points I love it unconditionally and marvel at it, and in one moments I am so angry with it and so resentful of it. It’s something I negotiate. It isn’t just about fat or not, or strong or not, or healthy or not.. it’s about how everything connects- identity, sense of self, self-worth, the space I’m in…

      Towards that, this particular performance of Andrea Gibson’s ‘I Sing The Body Electric Especially When My Power’s Out’ is especially wonderful: https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=NupSy2u5FJ0